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Times have changed when it comes to special occasions, and throwing a baby’s mom a shower for a new addition to the family of a friend or relative is no exception. Like many other areas, the baby shower used to have some pretty strict rules that, if violated, could approach a breach of etiquette. One area in which baby shower rules have changed is in the timing and the event itself. Here are some timing ideas, with some positives and negatives for each, and a little bit of history in some cases.

The old tradition is to throw the shower before the baby arrives. The shower is usually held during some period of the expectant mother’s last trimester, although this timing, along with timing in generally, has started to change. The third trimester tends to be the safest in terms of the assurance of the baby’s arrival, especially in historical terms, when birth was a much more risky prospect. The advantage of throwing the baby shower at this time is that the expecting mother, although dealing with the disadvantages of pregnancy itself, will not be quite at the level of weariness that will accompany the arrival of the newborn. Those that have children know the huge adjustment in every pattern that occurs when you bring the new baby home, and it can take quite a while for a new mother or father to adjust to the point where they are ready for a party of any kind.

The only real disadvantage of a pre-birth shower is if you live in an area that does not disclose the sex of the baby before birth. If this is true in your area, and you go with an expecting mother shower, then select gifts that are gender-neutral in theme and in color.

In some circles, throwing a post-arrival baby shower is a breach of etiquette. If you or your expecting friend run in such circles, it is best not to buck tradition. Many others, however, will choose to throw the baby showers after the arrival of the baby. One of the great advantages of this timing is that guests will be able to see the baby and will also have the opportunity to choose the gifts appropriately. The obvious disadvantage of throwing a shower after the baby arrives on the scene is that the new mom will undoubtedly be going through a period of adjustment that could leave her feeling really worn out.

If you plan on throwing a baby shower, make sure to keep it short and intimate. Guests could also be encouraged to bring along a freezable dinner, in order for the new parents to enjoy dinners and other meals for a short period of time as they make their adjustments around the bundle of joy.


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